Perceptions....

On Marriage...

There is this overwhelming thing going on around me on decisions related to marriage that has brought out so many approaches to the issue and has also brought into focus the divide between a female side and the male side of the issue.

The major difference in approach stems from difference in with they are treated in the Indian Society. (I would not want to generalize it for the world at large since I am not aware of the dynamics of the same.).

From the time that a girl is a kid, she knows either implicitly or explicitly that there are limits within which one needs to function. There are limitations of time which govern ones movement, there are higher moral standards which a girl must adhere to, she has to be in control of her emotions and be a more balanced person, she cannot afford to be a rogue all the time. Incase one does stay away from her parents, then there is a constant worry on the parents head that the daughter is safe and sound. Wonder how many father’s ever call there son each day to ask if everything is okay.

They want her to marry at a particular age, cause being a women you possibly cannot live your life all by yourself. Having a male company is better.

Given the changes that the Indian society is undergoing (at least in the larger cities), the girl wants to live her life on her terms and does not in most cases understand the parents point of view. Added to all this is the fact that women are more averse in getting into an arranged marriage set up. Because she thinks she will have to become more responsible, what if she is deprived of the freedom that she had just got, what if the fitment is not proper?
Many of these questions keep haunting her!!

Yet, in many other cases one does marry and puts an end to those many unnecessaey arguments at home and get on with life. After all life is about so many more productive things than just after running relationships. In the end it’s all not worth it…but this approach is mainly made by the ones who are matured, balanced, have had there share of fun and know that they can protect their individuality even when in an intimate relationship like a marriage. Somewhere there is also that human desire which many have to settle down and share one’s life and get company in life. But with the insecurities that a girl has she wants the best of both worlds, a little scared of the unknown and unwilling to let go of the rosy present.

Whatever be the case, the only thing that I have discovered and realized post marriage is that it’s easiest to not care for anybody but oneself and cater to only ones desires, moods,likes and dislikes.

All this is undoubtedly important for ones personnel growth, but marriage does not stop your growth. It makes you more disciplined in life, a little more considerate of the other’s feeling, a strong sense of priority develops. There is no other relationship, which is as demanding as a marriage on your emotions. In ways more than one, it prepares you for challenges which life might throw up in future.Somewhere one either learns to live with ones insecurities or breaks many of those, depending on the situation.

If only one can condition ones mind a little before getting in a commitment like this, life can be so much more fun…Coz human being is a social animal and company makes doing small little things tones and tones of fun.

What is life if not FUN and LAUGHTER.

posted by shikha @ 12:04 PM